…Are We?
S:
Ephesians 1:4-7
Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. 5 Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) 6 He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.
7 Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free!
(Message)
O: In this passage, we find Paul starting at the beginning, talking about how God thought about us as human beings and how he designed us for relationships, and how those relationships begin with the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross. Paul continues to talk about how God thought about us before we were ever created; how He thought about us, and not just us as a collective whole, but about each individual one of us before He had ever created ANY one of us. What else can “before the foundations of the world” mean? In the following verse, Paul continues by talking about how the fact and action of sacrifice creates a freedom for us. It is like a 3-legged stool…penalty, sacrifice and freedom. Let’s look at that stool within the framework of marriage.
A:
Penalty…we all make mistakes. Too often we go into marriage trained to think that about what we are going to get out of it; believing that we can change what we don’t like about our prospective spouse…believing that they will willing change what we don’t like about them…that it is not that big a deal; never looking at our own habits, beliefs, and actions as anything but perfect and what is not perfect is justifiable. What if we were trained to automatically forgive the infractions that our spouses make, as Christ has forgiven our ‘sins’. I am not suggesting that we become doormats for every whim and fancy that our spouse decides to commit against us. What I am suggesting is that we are quick to forgive any wrongs that have been done against us, without harboring a grudge or keeping score.
Sacrifice…but whose? What if we were trained to believe that we need to very seriously and closely listen to…first of all, what the Bible has to say about relationships and how we treat other people, but then secondly, how we are to sacrifice our own wants, desires and needs for our spouse? Marriage is not about how our spouse is supposed to sacrifice for us, but rather about how we are to sacrifice for them. If we can’t learn to sacrifice for those closest to us, how can we possibly learn to sacrifice for others outside our family? If I can’t figure out how to do the dishes before I hit the recliner, why should I expect her to sacrifice for me?
Freedom…but how much? Now this is where it becomes really interesting and exciting. There is an extreme difference between worldly freedom and Biblical freedom. In the world, we are led to believe that freedom is linear…that is, not being confined to one individual…real freedom is as many individuals as we can possible connect with. I don’t need to list here the number of real world problems that that type of thinking creates. However, Biblical freedom is built on linear fences that create limits to keep us from encountering those real world problems. So then the natural thinker questions, “How is that freedom?” Our answer to this is that there is always vertical freedom…that is, freedom to go up and down. Biblical freedom is the freedom to explore the depths of your spouse, to communicate in depth to levels that temporary relationships can never reach. Digging is almost always harder than running. Biblical freedom is the freedom to explore the heights of spirituality with your spouse that you can never reach with a temporary relationship. I will probably take some heat here, but this type of freedom can’t be reached outside the confines of the marriage vows.
P:
Lord, please help us to realize that we do have freedom, but that it takes regular and constant communication between myself and my spouse to start realizing that freedom. Amen.