…New & Old

Well, by now you should have recovered from the holiday season, and started to get things back to a normal ‘routine’. That is one of the attractions of the holiday season, that we can shed the routine and do things a little differently (read my last post). It’s fun to be able to vary things like alarm clocks, shopping trips, family visits, and simply doing things that we wouldn’t normally do. The variety is refreshing and rejuvenating, however, trying to make things different on a continual basis is exhausting.

This is why we find routine so comforting. Routine is comforting. Why else do we witness the retiree still getting up at the same time as if s/he had to go to work, when all they really have to do is make breakfast and do the dishes. Why do we all find change so difficult when it is foisted upon us at our job. Routine is provides us with some measure of security that in turn, provides us with a certain sense of control.

Our marriage bed goes through this same type of cycle. This is why newlyweds find the ‘routine’ so exhilarating, because sex was not on the table (if they adhered to the rules as God set them up). However, as they grow more comfortable with each other and they begin to develop a routine, they often want to start experimenting and finding way to vary the routine, and to a certain degree, that is perfectly fine and acceptable, as long as the variety falls within the God-ordained fences of the “sex only within marriage” relationship. It is when we start trying to move the fences, and expand our ‘freedoms’, that we not only become exhausted, but we completely ruin the game.

At certain times, however, routines need to be juggled in order to find new routines to become comfortable with, but finding new experiences should be like holidays, they should only be explored once in a while, not as a constant source of new thrills. It is in the routine that we find the comfort and compatibility with our spouse, whereas constantly pushing the boundaries is not freedom, but slavery.

So, my new years encouragement would be this, settle back into your routines if they are good and working for both of you, but if they are not, do not be afraid to explore new territory with your spouse that you will both feel comfortable turning into your routine.

Happy New Year.