…Steady As It Goes!

Well, we are through another year of holidays (which really are not), of feasting (or starving), celebrating (or mourning), visiting (or fighting), contentedness (or worrying). It doesn’t really matter which side of the coin you are on, or what stage of life you are at, the last several weeks of the year are always something completely different from the rest of the year. There is always more turmoil, both good and bad, always more pressure to do more, always more concern (or usually worry) about trying to, at the very least appease, or worst, impress other people. Just last night, my wife and I had a somewhat illuminating conversation about realizing and acknowledging who we are as individuals, and that we are not like other people. We have our own tastes and quite often, they are not like anyone else’s tastes…and that is o.k. We finally came to the position that we are not going to be able to buy presents or decorations that are going to impress other people, because we do not have the same sense of decoration.

And now we are past all of that for another year…

…and this next month or two are just as difficult for many people. There is always the proverbial bills to face as a result of having to buy more stuff than we usually do for the holiday season. However, there may be new issues to face as we start a new year. There may be an empty bed, or a new diagnosis, or a pink slip that the business of the holidays allowed us to gloss over for the time being. However, now that all of the holiday activities are finished, those new things become much more real, because we have to figure out how to deal with them on their own.

This is the beauty of the marriage relationship…if we use it properly; and using it properly is communicating with each other openly and honestly about what we are thinking, facing and feeling. Just as the weeks leading up to the main holiday season are crowded with busyness, and that busyness can crowd out communication and intimacy time, so to can these next few weeks be just as difficult on the communication and intimacy times between a husband and wife. It is very easy for depression and anxiety to set in for both husband and wife, if they are not careful and purposeful to make time for communication and intimacy.

Really, when it comes down to it…it is the same advice as before the holidays…talk, talk, talk…honestly and openly, and quite often in order to do that, it requires time alone…just the two of you…no children, no family, no friends; if this has not been part of your practice, why not start the new year off with the express aim of making time to communicate to your wife about what is really on your heart and mind. It will likely be the most freeing and liberating thing you can do for both of you as a husband.

I would love to read your thoughts on this post about starting the new year. Please leave a comment about how you like starting the new year.

Happy New Year & God Bless.