…To Accept a Compliment?

I know that this has been addressed in countless other places, blogs and under numerous circumstances, but I was confronted with it last night. I think we all struggle with knowing how to accept a compliment that is given to us about anything. It does not matter whether it is about something we have done, or something we have created, and it seems especially difficult to accept a personal compliment about us as a person. We all stumble over our reply, when a simple “Thank you” would be most appropriate.

Most marriage bloggers will make numerous references to the Songs of Solomon, and especially they will highlight chapter 4, where the husband compliments his wife…

Song of Songs 4:1-7
​1 You’re so beautiful, my darling,
so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled
By your hair as it flows and shimmers,
like a flock of goats in the distance
streaming down a hillside in the sunshine.
2 Your smile is generous and full—
expressive and strong and clean.
3 Your lips are jewel red,
your mouth elegant and inviting,
your veiled cheeks soft and radiant.
4 The smooth, lithe lines of your neck
command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration!
5 Your breasts are like fawns,
twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.
6 The sweet, fragrant curves of your body,
the soft, spiced contours of your flesh
Invite me, and I come. I stay
until dawn breathes its light and night slips away.
7 You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love,
beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
(Message)

Last night, my wife was already up in our bedroom, and when I walked in, I couldn’t help but compliment her on what I saw; what first caught my attention…nothing any different that what I have seen for the past 35 1/2 years, but still it took my breath away, and I went up to her, gave her a hug and told her so. I don’t have to reiterate the reply in detail for you to know how the ensuing conversation went, however, this time, unlike many years past, I did not stop and I refused to let her win this time.

What is really bothersome for me, is the fact that when I read this passage, my mind automatically goes to a runway model because of the conditioning that our culture has done on me. However, maybe it is not so new, because we can read near the beginning of the book that she also degrades herself, but her lover will hear none of it, and continuously pours out the compliments.

I know that there were times early on in our marriage, where things seem to become very regular and hum-drum; where we begin to agree with Solomon from one of his other books…”that there is nothing new under the sun.” All of that can become true, especially when you are not on the same page with your wife, either emotionally and/or physically. This is why it is so important to maintain that connectedness with your wife at all stages of your marriage, and that connectedness doesn’t just happen because you live in the same house and sleep in the same bed. It takes conscious effort and decisive actions to maintain the bff status that you started your married life with, and make it continue.

I would love to hear how you work at being amazed by the sight of your wife? What do you do to help her take your breath away. Please leave a comment below. OH, and Merry Christmas to you and yours! Have a Great weekend celebrating the coming of our Lord & Saviour. Amen.